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I recently saw a mom post about being at the grocery store with her children.
- Now Liane Moriarty has joined the fray with her delightful Big Little Lies , about a group of mothers who meet at kindergarten orientation at Pirriwee Public in Australia.
- Combine Orientation.
- The Mare , the hugely anticipated third novel from Mary Gaitskill, her first in more than a decade, also takes motherhood as its starting point.
We're on their trail, and we've got many fresh leads to chase down — please support our work. New comedies portray overworked mothers going wild. The way motherhood is represented in the media is changing. We see mothers confronting incessant demands of frenetic home and work lives by toppling off their bar stool drunk ; falling off their bed whilst high and trying to use a breast pump; and chatting with drug dealers in parking lots late at night, with their baby beside them in a car seat.
Cutting back on home baking, they are cutting loose and partying hard. The widening array of media representations of motherhood since the early s is a healthy and liberating development. A broader range of ways to publicly inhabit the role of motherhood is now on offer to women. But there are caveats.
Representations of mothers as either demonised villains or perfect saints have ingrained media track records in the British media, particularly in the right wing press. Bad Moms involves mothers rejecting the strictures of perfect PTA Parent Teacher Association motherhood to party together; the title of Hurrah for Gin doesn't need much explanation.
These characters engage in behaviour more stereotypically associated with men, or women without children. She engages in temporary bouts of hedonism; she has childcare responsibilities.
Both Bad Moms and Motherland begin with over-stressed women driving their kids to school. One arrives late, covered in pasta with a limping dog, the other shows up at a school closed for holidays. Both are shown overworking whilst their male partners do little or swan around on boats. These women are royally pissed off with the patriarchal gender regime into which they are flung. These frenetic multitasking mothers also reflect the current crisis in the ability to care amidst rising inequality, precarity and overwork as a result of neoliberal economic policies.
A key goal of second-wave feminism was for men and women to share equally the pleasures and pains of childcare and work in the public sphere. This required a shortened working week and sufficient social support structures. Instead, over the past 60 years, an increasingly savage, neoliberal form of capitalism has twisted the aims of the feminist movement, making a full-time dual income the baseline norm and ripping away social infrastructure from playcentres for children to libraries.
The global north has moved from the single to double income family without meeting the feminist demand for reduced working hours. The recent spate of media representations of mothers behaving badly echoes this overburdened reality. Yet these liberating media representations of mothers letting loose and partying hard usually stop short of providing structural social solutions to the problems they reflect, leaving their implicit prescriptions for change within the limited realm of small female friendship squads.
Rarely is she black or an ethnic minority. To really challenge the issues they point to — and create better lives for other people as well as individual mothers behaving badly — productions would need to better reflect the structural causes of their exhaustion too.
Now, if creative media were to shine a spotlight on these political themes, that would call for a party. That's just the tip of the iceberg: we've got many more leads to chase down.
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The Mare , the hugely anticipated third novel from Mary Gaitskill, her first in more than a decade, also takes motherhood as its starting point. It is both an emotional coming-of-age tale and a raw meditation on motherhood.
It was almost like a dogma. Maybe reality set in. Novelist Ayelet Waldman , who tackled this subject in with a series of essays titled Bad Mother , agrees that there has been a shift towards female-centric projects within the entertainment industry, but sounds a note of caution.
Female writers would probably present a less hackneyed, more complete version of what it means to be a mother. Yet as the film progresses, our opinion of Carolyn changes and, if not entirely supporting her actions, we at least come to understand the self-loathing from which they spring. The way that people feel better about themselves is basically by putting others down.
Yet Hornby admits she has some sympathy with those who buy into the motherhood myth. Waldman agrees. The double standards are maddening. Mary Tyler Moore as Beth Ordinary People The superficially perfect mum is slowly revealed as the cruel, withholding centre of this tale of death, loss and complex family dynamics. The film is notable for its refusal to redeem her, even at the end.
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